After Chelsea’s monumental feat in beating Beating Barcelona, Geoff decides to obliterate the moment by telling poor old Ivanovic that he is in fact suspended for the final. So harsh. I’m not saying that they should rescind cards and let everyone play, that would be silly. But Geoff, you could have been a bit more tactful. He looks like someone has just told him he can’t play in the cup final..Oh he has. ...

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Been on Twitter a fair bit recently, doing this and that. Exploring a bit. Shameless plug – @SimpleLampoon Anyway, quite a lot of people have ‘RIP’ gangster style bios. Why? Old people die. It’s not gangster that your great Aunt died. Shit happens. You should know that, you say ‘shit happens’ in your bio too. So in your 140 characters, you wanted to let everybody know that you remembered that one of your ancestors died? Well let me tell you, countless numbers of my ancestors have died too. That was a bit ranty. I had too many coffees. Sorry Internet. Also today, I stumbled across Texts from your dog, an altogether more light hearted affair. It literally made we weep a little. From my eyes. ...

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